Sex is somewhat of a taboo topic in Islamic and middle eastern cultures, but it shouldn’t be. Our goal is to break that barrier as sex is a big part of life. We exist because of it and we shouldn’t feel ashamed to talk about it.
Yes, it’s not a topic that I personally would like to bring up with family members because I am sane and realize how awkward it is. Nevertheless, it should be discussed to ensure that one’s sex life is in harmony with Islamic teachings.
Table Of Contents:
1. General Rules and Etiquette of Sexual relations in Islam
2. List of Halal and Haram Sexual Acts
3. Is Oral Sex Halal or Haram In Islam?
4. Is Anal Sex Haram or Halal in Islam?
5. Are Sex Toys Halal or Haram In Islam?
6. Is Fingering Halal or Haram?
7. Are Handjobs Halal or Haram in Islam?
8. Is Phone Sex Haram In Islam?
9. Is Sex Chat (Sexting) Haram In Islam?
10. Are Threesomes Halal or Haram In Islam?
11. Is BDSM Halal or Haram?
12. Is Swallowing Cum Halal or Haram?
13. Is Masturbation Halal or Haram in Islam?
14. Is Sex Haram During Ramadan?
15. Is Sex Haram During Pregnancy?
General Rules and Etiquette of Sexual Relations In Islam
The following sex acts are well-known to be haram in Islam:
- Sex before marriage
- Homosexual sex
- Sex during a woman’s period (menstrual cycle)
- Sex During Postpartum Bleeding
- Anal Sex
Islam is not against sex. If anything, Sex helps muslims achieve the following (source):
- Helps Muslims to lower their gaze
- Brings self control
- Keeps Muslims away from Haram acts
Check out our recent post, Is it Haram to Kiss, Have Sex, Love Before Marriage?, to learn more about love, dating, and sex before marriage.
List of Halal and Haram Sexual Acts
Please note that the results of the Islamic Ruling column are all based on the research I did for this article. I always advise our readers to do further research.
| Sex Act | Islamic Ruling |
|---|---|
| Anal Fingering | Haram. Anal Penetration is not permitted. |
| Anal Sex | Haram. Anal Sex Penetration is not permitted. |
| BDSM | Depends. No clear evidence found to state that it is haram |
| Blowjobs | Depends. Swallowing sexual fluids is not permitted |
| Cumming on Face | Depends. Some agree while others disagree |
| Eating Ass | Depends. Penetetration of the anus is haram |
| Eating Pussy | Depends. Spouse not allowed to have pre cum in their mouth |
| Handjob | Permissible. |
| Masturbation | Most scholars say it is haram, some islamic scholars say it is makruuh |
| Phone Sex | Permissible as long as masturbation is not involved |
| Pregnant Sex | Permissible |
| Rim Job | Depends. Penetetration of the anus is haram |
| Sex Chat / Sexting | Permissible as long as masturbation is not involved |
| Sex Toys | Sex Toys can be used without penetration and some scholars state that sex toys can’t touch private parts. |
| Swallowing Cum | Haram |
| Threesomes | Haram |
| Vaginal Fingering | Permissible. |
Is Oral Sex Halal or Haram In Islam?
Islamic scholars agree that it is haram for pre-ejaculatory fluid, that is discharged during the act of oral sex, to be in the mouth of a man or woman. This fluid is considered najis (impure) and all Islamic scholars agree on that. However, the act of oral sex itself is debated fiercely among Islamic scholars.
Islamic scholars have 3 different answers for this. Some say it is permissible, some say it is makruuh, some say it is haram and not permissible.
The following sex acts are considered Oral Sex:
- Blowjobs
- Rim Jobs (Eating Ass)
- Eating Pussy (licking the vagina)
Any sex act that involves the mouth of one party touching the genitals of the other party is considered Oral Sex.
Islamic Scholars That Argue For Oral Sex Make the Following Arguments:
1. Most Sex Acts are Halal between a Husband and Wife
The only haram sex acts are Anal sex and “deriving pleasure from what is between the navel and knee of women in menstruation or post-natal bleeding”. A sheikh on Huda TV argued that all sex acts are permissible between a husband and wife except for the the two mentioned. (source)
He also points out that the woman is not obligated to perform oral sex, her only obligation is to make herself available for sexual intercourse. It is only permissible if the woman agrees to do it.
Furthermore, he mentions that married couples that engage in oral sex should avoid filth if it is presented on the private parts. By filth in the private parts, he is referring to pre-ejaculatory fluid.
2. There is no reference in the Quran That Specifically Mentions Oral Sex Being Haram
Dr. Muhammad Salah answered this question live on Huda TV. In case you don’t know him, he’s a PhD holder in Comparative Fiqh, He also has his MBA in Islamic Studies from Cloverdale college (source)
He argues that since there is no reference or text in the Quran to suggest that Oral Sex specifically classify it as haram.
However, he acknowledges that many people find Oral Sex repulsive. Since it’s somewhat of a gray area, he does mention that avoiding is better than engaging in it (just to be on the safe side) (source).
Islamic Scholars that Classify Oral Sex as being Makruh Make the Following Arguments:
Mufti Muhammad Ashraf claims that oral sex is makruh. He states that is it permissible for a man and wife to kiss and lick the genetical area before sex to arouse and stimulate sensation as long as impurities (pre-ejaculatory fluid) do not enter the mouth (source)
Islamic Scholars That Argue Against Oral Sex and Claim It To Be Haram Make The Following Arguments
Mufti Ebrahim Desai (source) and Mufti Shafiq Jakhura (source) claim that Oral Sex is haram for the following reasons:
- The discharge from a man or woman’s genital areas (pre-ejaculatory fluid) will be in the mouth of the man or wife, since that is filthy, then oral sex is Haram.
- Prophet Muhammed (SAW) forbade muslims from engaging in sex acts that resemble animals.
- The mouth is an organ used to recite the name of Allah and to recite the Quran. Therefore, one ought to refrain from Oral sex and using their mouth for despicable acts (source).
Is Anal Sex Haram or Halal in Islam
Anal is sex is 100% prohibited. It is considered to be a major sin in Islam and there is no justification for it (source). Here’s why anal sex is considered unlawful in islam:
- It violates the right of the wife as it prevents her from having offspring (source).
- Women do not derive any pleasure from it, and it is a painful act.
- The “back passage” is a place of filth and dirt (source)
Fatwa on Permissibility of Anal Sex
Dar Al Ifta released a Fatwaa (a ruling on a point of Islamic law given by a recognized authority.) responded to the question of whether anal sex is halal or haram by saying that most acts are considered halal except for anal and intercourse during menstrual cycle menses and post natal bleeding.
In Islam, the marital relationship between spouses is based on permissibility which is controlled by chastity and piety. Based on this, all forms of sexual pleasure are permissible provided there is mutual agreement between the spouses and there is nothing that brings harm to either of them, except for anal sex and intercourse during menses and post natal bleeding (source).
Hadith on Permissibility of Anal Sex
A hadith is a collection of traditions containing sayings of the prophet Muhammad which, with accounts of his daily practice (the Sunna), constitute the major source of guidance for Muslims apart from the Quran.
A hadith that further confirms the prohibition of anal sex among Muslims states:
لاَ يَنْظُرُ اللَّهُ إِلَى رَجُلٍ أَتَى رَجُلاً أَوِ امْرَأَةً فِي الدُّبُرِ
Allah will not look at a man who enters a man or a woman in the behind.
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1165 (source)
Are Sex Toys Halal or Haram In Islam?
Evidence shows that inserting sex toys in genitals is not permissible is Islam. Experts generally agree that it is haram for a husband and wife to use sex toys.
Sex toys are becoming more popular in the bedroom. The main purpose of a sex toy is to stimulate or enhance sexual arousal or orgasm. When talking about sex toys, I am specifically talking about the common ones such as:
- Dildos
- Clitoras stimulators
- vaginal balls
- vibrator
Can Muslims Use Vibrators?
Inserting a dildo or vibrator in the wifes vagina for her to orgasm is not permissible, even if the husband is using it on her. The husband is also not allowed to use sex toys such as masturbators or realistic vaginas (pocket pussy) to ejaculate, even if used by the wife according to this source.
It is permissible for muslims to use a vibrator in the following scenarios according to this source:
- Stimulate any part of the body except for the private parts
- Stimulate the outer private parts of the wife (including her clitoris)
The catch here is that the vibrator must be used by one’s spouse and not by the person themselves. It is considered haram for a muslim to use a vibrator alone. The rationale here is that sex toys can’t be used as a means to alleviate loneliness.
However I did find a Fatwa that argues against that and strongly prohibits Muslims from using sex toys. On IslamWeb I found Fatwa 87620 which states:
It is not permissible for a man or a woman to use sexual toys, because this is considered as masturbation, and worse than masturbation. Anyway, if these toys are used individually, or it is the husband who is using them with his wife or vice versa, it is not permissible. And it is not permissible at all to buy or sell these toys, because it is a way of helping in Haram things. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {…but do not help one another in sin and transgression….}[5:2].
IslamWeb (source)
Why Islam Does Not Encourage The Use Of Sex Toys
It is believed that using sex toys can have negative consequences on a marriage. This is largely due to laziness. A man can become lazy to have sexual intercourse with his wife and therefore rely on sex toys and vice versa. A woman can rely solely on a vibrator or dildo and no longer require the touch of her husband.
A sexless marriage is a bland and boring marriage. As a man, his wife is the only woman that he is permitted to have sex with, so why play with toys when he can have fun with his wife. Same logic applies to the woman.
Islamic scholars believe that it is best to avoid using sex aids regardless of intention.
Is Fingering Halal or Haram?
A husband is allowed to finger his wife’s vagina and that is considered Halal. A husband is allowed to use his hand and fingers to make his wife reach orgasm (source).
Remember, a husband can not finger his wife’s anus. That is considered a form of anal sex and is not permitted in Islam. A husband would be able to massage his wife’s anus using his fingers but penetration is not permitted.
Are Handjobs Halal or Haram in Islam?
It is halal for a wife to give her husband a handjob. A wife is allowed to stroke her husband’s penis. A wife can use her fingers and hands to masturbate her husband (source).
One thing the wife ought to watch out for is her husbands ejaculation. Sex acts such as facials go hand in hand with handjobs. Facials increase the risk of the sperm from entering a woman’s mouth. Since sperm is considered najis (impure) to consume, facials can be haram if the sperms enters the woman’s mouth.
Is Phone Sex Haram In Islam?
Phone sex between a husband and a wife is permissible and halal. However, it is haram to use phone sex with your spouse in order to masturbate. This is because Masturbation is classified as Haram by most scholars.
Married couples can use phone sex to have erotic conversations as a way to initiate sex, as long as masturbation is not involved.
Furthermore, and this is obvious, but phone sex with someone whom you are not married to is haram. Regardless of whether masturbation is involved or not.
Here’s a response by Darul Iftaa (Darul Iftaa is headed by: Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari) to the question:
If the objective is to arouse one’s spouse and guide him/her in masturbation to the point of having an orgasm, then this would not be allowed…During the course of a phone conversation, it will not be permitted for either of the spouses to masturbate.
Darul Iftaa (source)
Is Sex Chat (Sexting) Haram In Islam?
The ruling on sexting, also known as sex chatting, is very similar to phone sex. Married couples are allowed to have an erotic and sexual conversation between each other over text. However, they’re not allowed to use sexting or sex chatting to masturbate.
Sexting anyone else other than your spouse is considered haram. Regardless of ones intention to masturbate or not.
Are Threesomes Halal or Haram In Islam?
If a muslim is married to more than one wife, he is not allowed to engage in a threesome. A man is not permitted to have sex with both wives together and is also not even allowed to have sex with one wife in front of the other wife.
While some muslims marrying multiple wives may think that marrying a multiple wives is a loophole to engaging in a threesome, I urge them to reconsider and read more about the topic.
According to this Fatwa, which absolutely forbids threesomes, here are the reasons why threesomes are considered haram (source):
- It is not permissible for a woman to look at the “awrah” (private parts) of another woman.
- The Prophet prohibited a husband and wife from discussing details of their sex life with others
Speaking of marriage, learn more about whether marrying your cousin is considered halal or haram in Islam.
Is BDSM Halal or Haram?
BDSM is not classified as halal or haram. There is no mention of BDSM being unlawful in the Quran.
Some islamic scholars are against BDSM because Islam instructs men to be gentle towards a man, and BDSM they consider BDSM sex to be the opposite of that.
According to this source, they advise muslims to stay away from BDSM. They compare BDSM as a form of resemblance to torturing which is unacceptable in Islam.
However, and this is our own opinion, this source does not address whether BDSM is halal or haram if both parties consent to it. BDSM is broad and refers to using handcuffs, ropes, shackles, belts, chains, blindfolds and collars which does not necessarily mean that any torture or violence will occur by using these accessories.
Just because a husband and wife are engaging in BDSM sex, it does not mean that one party is torturing the other or inflicting any pain or violence towards the other spouse.
According to this Fatwa, If a husband and wife both consent to engaging in BDSM sex then it is completely permissible. Here’s the Fatwa:
Every form of permissible intimacy between the husband and wife is a mutual one with mutual understanding and agreement. If the husband and wife mutually agree on “BDSM”, that is their choice, for which there is no prohibition in Shariah.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai (source)
Is Swallowing Cum Halal or Haram?
All four schools of Islam agree that swallowing cum is Haram. It is considered unlawful for a spouse to swallow sperm or even pre-cum as it is considered filthy.
Since it is mentioned in the Quran that filthy things are unlawful to muslims, then by definition, swallowing cum is Haram (source).
Is Masturbation Halal or Haram in Islam?
Majority of Islamic scholars state that masturbation is haram. However some Islamic scholars state that it is makruh, and not haram (source)
Shaykh Muhammed Saalih al Munajjid answered the question by referencing Al-Imam Shafi’s interpretation of this verse in the quran:
{And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, – for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.} (23:5-7)
Source
Al-Imam Shafi claims that this verse forbids all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand posses (source)
Men are getting married much later in age compared to the old times, this is why this question is very popular. According to Abdullaah ibn Masood ,The Prophet Muhammed (SAW) said
We were with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.'”
Al-Bukhari: 5066 (source)
Dr Zakir Naik, argues that masturbation is makruh but not haram. He references the above hadith and argues that the Prophet Muhammed (SAW) says that one should fast from masturbation and just have sex with his wife. He continues to argue that this hadith does not specifically mention that it is haram to masturbate.
He claims that fasting and not masturbating is considered “mustahab” (meaning it is favorable), but the act of masturbation is not haram. Here’s his talk for reference.
Is Sex Haram During Ramadan?
Sex during fasting hours (daylight) is haram in Islam. This is because it breaks a Muslims Fast.
If a man has sex with his wife, both parties need to free a slave. If they are unable to do so, they have to fast for 2 consecutive months. If they can’t fast, they must feed 60 poor people. If they can’t afford to feed 60 poor people, they must give donate to charity (source).
Learn more about Ramadan rules to be keep in mind as an unmarried couple during ramadan.
Is Sex Haram During Pregnancy?
A man is permitted to have sex with his wife during pregnancy unless that will harm the wife or baby (source). Sex during pregnancy is only prohibited if:
- Sex is done during fasting hours during ramadan
- The woman is under no pain and gives consent to her husband to have sex.
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